


Goodnight Sweet Prince

by tricksterity



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Civil War, This is complete and utter crack, because fuck the writers putting Bucky back in cryo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6803809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricksterity/pseuds/tricksterity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a tumblr post:</p><p>  <i>Bucky: Guys I'm going to be frozen again because there's currently no possible way to try and remove the Hydra commands from my mind.</i></p><p>  <i>Wanda: Maybe I could-</i></p><p>  <i>Sam: Goodnight sweet prince. If only there was someone with the power of mind manipulation. What I wouldn't give for a person like that to save you from this!</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight Sweet Prince

**Author's Note:**

> 100% based off this wonderful tumblr post http://ageofscarletvision.tumblr.com/post/144005000015/bucky-guys-im-going-to-be-frozen-again-because

* * *

 

One of the few things that Wanda hadn’t gotten the hang of in the two years since she’d joined the Avengers was their sense of humour – specifically, sarcasm. Sokovian did not have such a ridiculous concept, of saying something that meant the complete opposite of what you actually said, all conveyed through a certain tone of voice.

 

Wanda was fluent in English. She’d learned the language since she had started school with Pietro; they were both encouraged to learn the number one spoken language in the world. It would open doors and opportunities, and Wanda had learned that English was easily one of the stupidest, most nonsensical languages on the planet. But Wanda adapted, and learned.

 

She’d never adapt to sarcasm.

 

Which was why she was a little stumped at the conversation that followed Steve, Natasha and Barnes breaking them all out of the Raft prison. The break-out had been surprisingly easy once the world’s best tactician and the world’s two top assassins teamed up with Scott, who was a master at breaking in and out of things. They figured out how to break Wanda out first and de-activate the suppression collar she wore. With her powers freed, it had been all too easy to break Clint, Scott and Sam out.

 

They were on the quinjet, course set for Wakanda, when Bucky broke the news.

 

“Guys…” he spoke up quietly. “I’m going into cryofreeze again.”

 

In response, every single one of them on the quinjet yelled out in shock – all except Steve, who had clearly had suspicions about this being an option, and Scott, who didn’t even know anything about Bucky. Wanda could see into the minds of everyone on board, and Steve’s slow descent into sorrow nearly broke her heart. Over the past two years, Steve had been focused on nothing else but training them and finding Bucky, and when they’d finally found him… gods, she’d never felt anyone so happy before. Steve had been practically radiating joy to have his partner back at his side, even when they were all fighting each other.

 

Now he was sinking back into the depression he’d been living in.

 

Bucky held up a hand for silence. “There’s currently no possible way to remove the Hydra commands from my mind. For everyone’s safety, I’m going under until someone figures out how to fix me.”

 

Wanda was incredulous – did none of them remember that she was a master at mind manipulation? She hadn’t had her powers long, but she had easily dug into their brains deep enough to find their worst fears and to turn those against them back during the Ultron fiasco.

 

Wiping the commands from Barnes’ brain would be easy.

 

Wanda stepped forward. “Maybe I could-“

 

“Goodnight sweet prince,” Sam then interrupted, a hand atop his breast like an actor in a play. “If only there was someone with the power of mind manipulation. What I wouldn’t give for a person like that to save you from this!” Wanda frowned at how Sam’s lips turned up.

 

“Guys,” she said again. “You know that I can-“

 

“You poor, sweet thing,” Natasha interrupted next, placing a comforting hand on Bucky’s right arm, considering that the left was currently a mess of wires and twisted metal. “We will do everything we can to find a way to free you from Hydra’s clutches.”

 

Now Wanda was a little annoyed. “ _Listen_ , everyone-“

 

“NOOOO, BUCKY!” Steve cried. “THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!” Clint wrapped his arms comfortingly around Steve’s shoulders. Everyone at that point burst out into laughter, and Wanda was thoroughly confused, especially since Barnes was holding back a smile while he looked up to the heavens while he shook his head.

 

Eventually the laughter stopped, and everyone turned to Wanda expectantly.

 

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms defensively.

 

Clint grinned. “Isn’t it lucky that we have someone with the power of mind manipulation on board that we trust!”

 

Wanda’s head spun. “I thought you all just said that you didn’t know anyone with that power. I _was_ trying to tell you that I would be able to remove those commands in my sleep but you all kept interrupting me with your weird bullshit.”

 

Steve snorted unattractively.

 

“Oh shit,” Sam murmured. “I forgot about the sarcasm thing.”

 

Natasha smiled easily at Wanda. “Barnes is being an idiot. Could you please remove the Hydra commands from his mind?”

 

Wanda just gave up understanding them all and brought her red sparks out to play.

 

“Anything else you need?”

 

“How about you gives Barnes a sense of humour while you’re at it?”

 

“Fuck you, Wilson.”

 

* * *

 


End file.
